This week notification went out across the net about the death of a much beloved SCA member, Mistress Caitlin Davies (MKA Jane Waks). I did not know her personally though the name is familiar but I feel the pang of loss anyway. People die, it’s a fact that’s unavoidable. One day they are there the next they are gone and it is almost surreal, at least to me. At 45 I am now of the age where people I know, who are close to me begin that journey although it started early with the death of a good friend’s sisters and then later on with my dad. Along the way family, friends and acquaintances have also passed away due to accidents or illness or old age. It happens and it sucks. Sometimes I think if I had my way I’d freeze time and we’d never grow old, or sick and we’d all stay alive forever of course that’s not very good for the whole learn as you grow thing.

Death marked me early on. I am far too aware of it and every day it crosses my mind that someone I love, someone who is dear or meaningful to me won’t be there tomorrow, every single day. I cry for the deaths of people I don’t know when the TV shows the most recent tragedy. They leave a hole in the fabric of time that simply cannot be filled and one’s heart hurts due to loss. It’s an ache that no painkiller in the world can put end to and it never really goes away.

So what do you say to someone who has just had their very best friend in the whole world swept away from them never to return? I’m sorry doesn’t even come close and let’s forget about all the other platitudes that get spouted. It sucks plain and simple and it’s a lonely thing to experience.

So all I can really say on this matter is be very aware of the people around you, your loved ones, your friends. Treasure them every day no matter what. Be mindful of hurtful words and things said in anger because maybe one day you won’t get the chance to say you’re sorry. 

just saying…be excellent to each other…always!

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